How Should You Confess to a Girl and Not Get Denied: 9 Steps

It started as a normal crush and now you want to get serious

Confessing your feelings to a girl is quite scary because the feeling of getting denied is quite painful. There would always be some risk every time you confess your feelings to someone. The question for you is, how much risk are you willing to take?

Always remember that you will only know their answer once you confess and you will feel so much better once you are done opening your feelings to her. 

There would be a time that you would fall for a girl, it’s a natural feeling. Learning how to express your emotions to her is hard. The difficult thing is, every girl has different standards. So if you’ve succeeded in the past, there might be a chance that it won’t work now.

But you don’t need to worry too much. I’ve been there a lot of times, and I think I’ve already mastered the art of how to confess to a girl and not get denied. I just want to share my knowledge and experience with you.

Here are the lists of Steps on how should you confess to a girl. In this list, there 2 stages, the first stage is getting to know her more, and the second would be how you will confess.

First Stage: Getting to Know Her More

1. Add Her on Social Media and Do Some Research

The first step that I do is to do some research and add her on social media so that I will have a background about her. I try to add or follow her social media accounts. Assuming that she accepted my friend request or followed me back, I quickly do my research and make sure that she’s not in a relationship or look if we have mutual friends.

So that you will have contact with her, you need to reach out online first because reaching out in person would be difficult especially when you’re a little bit shy. At this point, I don’t have any plans to message her. I just want to know more about her life or hobbies through social media.

If you dare to message her, you can. But I don’t suggest doing it right away because it might shock her. What I do is I try to react to her post consistently so that she will notice me. After how many weeks or maybe months, I try to send a message to open the way that we can be friends online and in person.

To have a conversation, try opening up a topic about the daily trends or talking about your mutual friends.

2. Tell Your Friends about Your Crush to Support You

This second step is my favorite. I’m thankful that I have supportive friends because they will help me with what to do. You could also ask for some strategies because maybe some of your friends are experts in doing it.

After sending her a message online, you could also try to reach out to some of your acquaintances if you want to have a background about the girl you’re crushing on. They might help you express your feelings to her.

If that girl is your workmate or classmate, tell your friends to help you organize a simple hangout. Tell your friends to make friends with her friends. Your friends would also be the ones to tease you if they know that you have a crush on someone. In that way, there’s a chance that the girl will have a hint already that you like her. In this stage, you would also notice if she will be interested or not.

3. Be Her Friend and Get Close to Her

Once she will have a hint, just keep on sending a message online so that she would feel that you are consistent. If you are already close online, meet her personally. In this way, she will feel that you are serious. 

Get to know her more personally. You could also invite her to eat outside or watch a movie. Make sure to have a sense of humor because girls love it. After meeting her personally, make sure that it will continue. Make her see you every day so that she won’t have time to look for someone else.

Keep on identifying common interests and always connect with her. If you are with her, be sure that your body language is open and positive. You can also try to analyze her body language if she’s interested in you.

Second Stage: How Should You Confess

4. Make Her Expect with Your Confession

If you did the first part correctly, for sure the girl you’re crushing on will already have an idea that you like her. In this part, you need to make her expect that you will be confessing so that you will know how she will act.

If she keeps on seeing you, maybe she’s interested in you. But if she doesn’t make any time for you, you know what that means. So the point of this step is to make her aware that you are planning something big. The next steps will be how you will confess to her.

5. Be Real with Your Feelings because Girls can Sense it

Every time I have feelings for a girl, I always ask myself if I’m sure about my feelings. One way I notice about myself once I like someone is, she’s always on my mind. I just can’t get rid of thinking of her. I feel happy and inspired every time I wake up from bed. After that, I try to know her life or stalk her on social media. I feel speechless and happy every time I saw her.

Days and months passed by, I started talking and chatting with her to know more about her life. I always try to compliment her and acknowledge the positive things about her. By the time we were so close, I confessed my feelings for her. I was real and true to my feelings even though she doesn’t feel the same. I didn’t expect that she would like me back.

This is very important. Girls would sense it if you are not true to your feelings while confessing that you like her. Even though you have completed the first stage, and still your feelings aren’t real, you won’t succeed.

Try to ask yourself first if you do like her. Validate your feelings and ask yourself if that girl would be the one you want to spend your life with. Be honest with yourself if you like her because you will just waste your time confessing if you’re unsure.

If she also likes you, well that’s great. If she rejects you for some reason, it’s still okay because as long as you are real with your feelings, you will have greater self-confidence in preparing for your next confession.

6. Make Sure You are Alone Together

Once I set a day and time that I would confess to her, I always make sure that we spend the time alone together. This is always my plan because it feels more natural and clear if you confess this way. I’m not a big fan of doing it in public because it’s very awkward.

 If you’re unsure how that girl will react, just be alone together. Some girls don’t like attention from other people. Try to give that girl a space on how she would reply comfortably. Try to imagine confessing in public and she will be forced to say she likes you because people are watching and she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. That would be painful on your part.

It tends to be less awkward if no people are watching. It is less embarrassing if you do it in private. If you get rejected it would be okay because no one is watching. If the feelings are mutual, you can shout as loud as you can if you want to.

7. Plan and Look for a Romantic Setting

In my experience, I try to look for a restaurant or a place that is special for her. She would love it if the place is safe and comfortable for her.

Planning and looking for a romantic setting can be a meaningful moment when you confess. She might be convinced to like you back if you brought her to a place that she would love. If that girl is your classmate, I wouldn’t suggest confessing your feelings to your classroom because that place might be stressful for her.

Also, try to pay attention to what places she likes or what kind of person she is. If she loves to drink coffee, why not invite her to a coffee shop. Just try to avoid public places where other people can hear.

Look for a romantic setting that has a positive vibe. You could also confess to her house if you want. Try to understand the mood of the setting where you will confess.

8. Don’t Wait for the Right Time

The only time that I waited for the right time to confess was when the girl that I like was still currently fixing herself from a past relationship. I tried to analyze the situation and I was there helping her to move on and maybe there would be a chance that she would notice and fall for me for being there for her.

There’s no such thing as the right time. The best time to confess is, right now. If you will wait for a very long time before confessing your feelings to her, you’re only giving her the opportunity to date someone else.

If the girl that you like is dating someone, never confess your feeling to her because it would be complicated and she would surely reject you. Return to that person if she’s already single or try to look for somebody else.

Every day is the right time to confess especially when you’re ready and she’s ready. Make sure that both of you are comfortable and in a good mood. Imagine trying to confess while having a fever or she’s having a bad day. It wouldn’t be great. Try to analyze the situation.

9. Be Confident when Confessing to Her

Every girl likes a confident man when confessing to her. They would feel that this guy is serious about his feelings for her. A girl won’t accept you if you are shy because they would think that you are not serious. Just be confident even though you are not sure what answer you will get.

Before you confess, learn how to build up your confidence because it would help you. Be upfront and honest with your feelings. Tell her directly without any hesitations. The more confident you are, the less fear and anxiety you will feel while confessing.

Imagine confessing your feelings to her while sweating because you’re nervous. Being confident makes you move outside your comfort zone and will be easy for you to confess. You can also look for a comfortable spot so that you can confess it well.


Hey! I'm Lorofy, I'm a politician in our Local Government Unit and a Church Leader. I'm a dedicated leader in our community and an ambassador of goodwill. I became a motivator and an advocate for men who are looking for meaning in life and on how to reach their full potential. I'm also a fitness enthusiast and consider fitness as my everyday expertise.