Does Break Up Hurt? The Real Answer

I still remember the last major breakup that I’ve experienced in my life. It was so devastating and it hurts like hell. I even questioned myself if I deserved that kind of feeling. It altered my daily routine and stirred up my feelings.

Breakups don’t hurt all the time. It depends on the reason why the relationship has ended. Some people consider a breakup as a blessing to be free from someone. But if you are somebody who invested so much time, effort and created romantic memories with your partner, breakups can be difficult for you.

In this article, we are going to discuss if breakups hurt. I provided an in-depth explanation below and I hope I can help someone who is wondering about this topic. Let’s keep reading!

Does Break Up Hurt?

Breakups don’t have to be hard all the time. There are a lot of people in the world who experienced breakups and some of them are happy that it happened. We have different approaches when we are experiencing breakups, and it depends on the kind of relationship that we have.

So when does break up going to hurt you? Well, there are a lot of situations when breaking up is going to be painful for you. The most common situation is when you are with someone for a very long time and your relationship was so romantic, the process of the breakup will be painful for you because you created a lot of memories and invested so much effort.

When you are in that kind of relationship and it ended because of a misunderstanding, you will surely struggle and that heartache is unlike any other. But don’t worry, the pain that you have is understandable because you’re just a human being.

People are designed to grow in the presence of other people such as their partners. You have a deep connection with the person that you love and when that connection is cut, feelings of humiliation and pain will occur.

In my experience, I’m the one who was left by my partner. My body went into a fight-or-flight mode. I felt a rapid heartbeat and my body was trembling. The worst thing is, I lost my appetite and I just don’t know what to do. Every night I kept on crying and trying to accept that things didn’t go as planned.

From what I’ve noticed, most people experience emotional pain during a breakup compared to people who wished they can be free and happy. Some people believed that it’s all about mindset. If you are going to take things personally, you are going to be hurt since you are thinking that you have failed somehow.

Controlling our thoughts during a breakup is very difficult. A lot of our friends would advise us to just forgive and forget. But the truth is, it’s not that easy. You have lost someone to whom you gave all your love. It hurts so much because that relationship is very important to you.

Some people also consider breakups as a blessing. So how did that happen? The most common reason is the relationship was so toxic and they want to be free already. They weren’t happy and just want to have a new beginning.

So everything will just depend on what kind of relationship you have with your partner. I want you to realize that not all breakups are going to be painful. Don’t be afraid to love just because you know that it’s risky.

How Painful is a Breakup?

Breakup is so painful and it can feel like physical pain. It’s the same way on how you react to physical pain. Try to compare it to a situation where you were hit by a physical blow in your stomach.

So how would you feel? It’s very hard to breathe, and the only thing you want to do is to survive with that punch. You can’t move and you are down on the floor isolating yourself and just cry because it’s so painful. You might also want to run to other people asking for help and tears are falling into your eyes. That’s how painful a breakup is.

Breakup is so painful that it can be compared to the death of a loved one. It will cause you a lot of trauma and you will feel long-lasting grief. You are so confused and can’t explain why all this is happening in your life.

A breakup is so painful that it feels like someone crumpled your heart like a paper and just throw it away in the trash can because it has no use already. Some people would compare a breakup to a near-death experience. They thought they couldn’t survive because they fully lose themselves.

When it comes to death, you have no choice. It’s the same with a breakup, you have no choice but to accept everything. You have no choice but to accept that you have to watch your former partner keep living without you by their side.

Does Breakup cause Depression?

Breakups will never be easy and they will take a toll on your well-being. I’ve heard a lot of stories from my friends that breakups can flip their world upside down and it can trigger different emotions.

Being in love is like a drug. It releases “happy hormone” chemicals in your brain. When your relationship with your partner has ended, it will cause a major impact on your brain. Feelings of sadness will occur from mild to severe. The end of your relationship is what triggered these depressed feelings.

Depression may be a normal feeling after a stressful break up with your partner. But there’s a chance that more serious symptoms will also occur. You will be hopeless and struggle in going back to your normal life. Your appetite will change and you will lose a lot of weight.

When I experienced the major breakup in my life, it was never easy. I was so depressed and lose a lot of pleasure and interest in life. I wasn’t motivated anymore to work and I was so empty isolating myself in my room.

Those depression feelings that I have were a period of adjustment for me to accept things and move on. I look for ways to heal myself and as time passed by, I was able to lessen the pain in my heart.

Some breakups will be easy for others, but some people would also suffer. Those people who suffered prolonged their feelings of sadness and grief. The worst thing about having depression after a breakup is they will have suicidal thoughts.

You must understand that you can find support and help from your loved ones. You don’t need to deal with that breakup stress alone. You can consult a mental health expert or a doctor and they will help you with your situation.

When Does a Break Up Stop Hurting?

A lot of people tried to calculate how many days they can get over that painful breakup. There are lots of love experts who said that it would take from 3 months to 6 months. But the real answer is, it depends.

Every human being has different feelings and different approaches when it comes to love. There will be no exact answer on how long their misery would last. It can take a few weeks or even a full year. No one knows and there’s no clear time.

I’ve heard that some people still suffer and grief for more than a year. I have a friend who recovered after 3 months and he came from a 3-year relationship. He just told me that he follow the 3-month rule and kept himself busy.

Never compare your struggle and recovery with others because everyone has a different timeline when recovering from a painful breakup. I would recommend that you don’t hold yourself to a deadline if possible. Your journey is your alone, look for ways to end that pain as soon as possible so that you can get back to your normal life.


Hey! I'm Lorofy, I'm a politician in our Local Government Unit and a Church Leader. I'm a dedicated leader in our community and an ambassador of goodwill. I became a motivator and an advocate for men who are looking for meaning in life and on how to reach their full potential. I'm also a fitness enthusiast and consider fitness as my everyday expertise.