9 Reasons Why Do Couples Break Up

I believe that relationships face a lot of stages in life. It’s not happy and sweet moments all the time. Couples who break up happen a lot, that’s the sad reality. There are couples who we thought have a strong bond and suddenly go their separate ways.

We sometimes ask ourselves why a 5-year relationship stops working? All the efforts they put together were put to waste. We don’t know their love for each other simmered down or faded. Well, we can never tell how a relationship can survive. We don’t know how problems will come into our life.

In life, I’ve realized that no matter how the relationship proceeded, there are still possibilities that relationships will suffer. Not every reason that I present in this article can directly lead to a break-up. But the combination of two or more reasons would guarantee that the relationship will fail.

If you started a relationship knowing the possible reasons you are going to break up, you will increase the chances of building a happy and long-term relationship together. Keep reading to know the 9 reasons why do couples break up.

1. They Have Lots of Trust Issues

Trust issues are the most common reason why couples break up. One person feels that they cannot believe their partner. Trusts issues always lead to relationship problems. I also noticed that it’s an obvious reason why couples break up.

Trust issues would start because couples had previous experience of it. Let’s say, for example, one person is having an affair with someone or he/she is lying about financial matters. If couples don’t know how to fix their trust issues with each other, it will ruin their relationship.

Trust is the most basic value that couples must learn in their relationship. If that basic trust is repeatedly broken, they must expect that problems will accumulate. Their motivation with each other would decrease.

Even though couples have trust issues with each other, it’s still possible to trust their partner again. If couples are willing to repair things, they need to be prepared because it would take some time.

2. They Don’t Understand their Differences

It’s difficult for couples to have a healthy relationship if they don’t understand their differences, needs, desires, and interest. Couples must be on the same page and they must understand fundamental decisions especially on important things.

Couples must understand their differences with each other. If not, conflicts will escalate. They will blame each other for their problems and they will think about breaking up. The first thing that couples must do is to find their common ground.

They must learn each other’s differences and both of them must be open-minded that they were raised differently. They must learn how to communicate on what kind of person they are and what they want in a relationship. In that way, they can prevent problems from happening.

3. They Keep on Comparing their Relationship to Others

When couples keep on comparing their relationship with others, it’s a toxic relationship. When couples are caught up in comparing their relationship, they are blinded to the good things about their relationship.

Comparing your relationship can lead to sadness and disappointment. It’s always a bad idea to compare your relationship with others because you are like sabotaging your partner on whatever there is left to salvage.

There are also instances when one partner compares their present relationship to their ex. It’s one of the worst things that they can do. They are like betraying their own which is very painful. Your partner may not have the same qualities as your last partner, but it doesn’t mean you should show less love for them. They’re both amazing in different ways.

Remember the famous quote, “comparison the thief of joy”. Couples must know that no relationship is perfect. They must water their own so that their relationship would grow in love.

4. Excessive Jealousy

It’s one of the most frequent reasons why couples break up. It would cause a serious problem that would trigger abuse and violence. Excessive jealousy has the potential to suffocate a healthy relationship. It would break up the trust that they have built.

I saw a lot of couples who faced problems of jealousy in their relationship. All I can say is it wasn’t nice. It causes them to experience a range of feelings. The other one started to suspect their partner and became possessive because their partner break down their trust.

A little bit of jealousy might be fine. But excessive jealousy is unhealthy already. It would cause tension and can have a poisonous effect on your relationship. Couples break because they don’t know to acknowledge their feelings anymore. They are tired of facing the same issue of jealousy over and over again.

5. Abusive Physical Behavior

Nowadays, abusive relationship is very common that’s why there are a lot of laws governing that kind of issue. An abusive relationship isn’t only limited to physical, it can take many forms. There are a lot of signs that you will notice if you belong in an abusive relationship.

There’s an increasing number of men and women that stays in an abusive relationship. This kind of issue is very complicated and there are a lot of reasons why some couples are abusive. Some couples don’t even understand why they’re treating each other in that way. Maybe that’s the reason they chose to break up.

It’s very hard to spot a couple that is going through an abusive relationship. They can be sweet people outside, but deep inside, they are facing a lot of problems.

6. They Have Issues that are Still Unresolved

Some couples argue about an issue way back 2 years ago because until now it’s unresolved. These ongoing arguments are so annoying and couples feel that there’s no chance that they can resolve them. Both of them will feel that they can’t work together.

When couples have problems in their relationship, they must learn how to fix them directly so that it won’t be an issue again in the future. They must learn how to move on through life’s challenges.

If that issue in the past keeps coming because couples won’t resolve it, they will keep blaming each other and that’s another reason why they want to break up.

To share my experience, I had an unresolved issue with my partner and it impacted us negatively. I had to make some amendments and find a way to fix everything so we can move forward in our relationship.

7. They are No Longer Influencing Each Other

Another common reason why couples break up is that they are no longer influencing each other. They are tired of doing the same thing and they are tired of supporting each other. Relationships will evolve, couples must learn to adjust.

When the relationship is just fresh, it’s very exciting because you learn a lot of things about your partner. It’s not dull because it’s a growing phase in your relationship. But when your relationship hits a plateau, the real challenge will begin.

They know that their love story will also get boring. The love that they have for each other fades little by little. Some couples are blinded by the illusion that their relationship is a fairytale that would never end. They have expectations that don’t even match their current situation.

When that happens, some couples don’t know how to rekindle the flame of their love and just decide to break up.

8. They’re Already Lacking in Intimacy or Physical Touch

Sex may have an important role in your relationship, but it’s not the only thing to be physically intimate with each other. There are also little moments like cuddling, hugging, and holding hands.

When couples are no longer engaging in physical touch or intimacy, they are more like roommates rather than partners. Intimacy is very important to couples because it involves the connection and emotional closeness with each other.

It’s one way to know that couples are reassured of love and commitment. It is built throughout your relationship, it requires effort and patience from couples to create and maintain. When there’s no intimacy, what’s the purpose of sustaining the relationship.

How can they build a strong bond and establish trust? Yes, a relationship can survive without intimacy but partners would surely struggle as time goes on. Their relationship will be complicated because it won’t bring them together powerfully and romantically.

9. Change in Attitude

This is a very common scenario for some couples, where one of them has suddenly changed their attitude and it’s difficult to understand them anymore. They suddenly notice that they have a different outlook on the relationship.

One morning, the other one wakes up and realizes that this is not the kind of attitude they’ve expected from their partner. Suddenly they noticed that their partner doesn’t care about their relationship anymore.

Those are the worst feelings that they would experience and sometimes it is better to let go than holding on to the pain. You don’t want to traumatize yourself and just accept the reality that your lover isn’t the one for you.


Hey! I'm Lorofy, I'm a politician in our Local Government Unit and a Church Leader. I'm a dedicated leader in our community and an ambassador of goodwill. I became a motivator and an advocate for men who are looking for meaning in life and on how to reach their full potential. I'm also a fitness enthusiast and consider fitness as my everyday expertise.